Do you remember a time when you left your car unlocked while you went shopping or to church? I do. Well, there’s a reason why people now lock their cars, and we might have prompted that change. Car thieves have nothing on us. Allow me to explain.

Once upon a time, it was zucchini season. If you have a garden and plant zucchini, you may understand the challenges that time of year brings. And if you have a friend or neighbour with an exuberant garden, it might strike a note of fear. For the uninitiated, I refer to the season when these sneaky vegetables hide and grow. The plant has prickly stems and large leaves, which make the perfect environment for these innocent-looking fingers of joy to turn into full-blown torpedoes.

This story takes place many years ago when I was younger and didn’t know better. I planted far too many zucchini plants, and that meant we had far too many zucchinis. As in waaay too many. I used them in every way imaginable, including stir-fries with other veg, chocolate zucchini cake and muffins, and froze some for cakes and soups in the winter. However, after foisting off many on anyone willing to relieve me of my garden bombardment, what to do with the rest? I placed some at the end of our driveway on an old wooden stacking chair with a free sign on the zucchini. Someone took the chair and left the zucchini. Since the internet didn’t exist yet, we were on our own to think creatively about how to rid ourselves of our overabundance of bloated green things.

That is when the brilliant idea struck that has changed the behaviour of a generation of drivers. Armed with our botanical overload, we made a stop on our way out of town one Sunday evening. In those days, our church had an evening service, but since we had another commitment, we weren’t attending it that night. The church was, however, along our route. With everyone safely ensconced inside the building, we carefully tucked a zucchini in need of a home in the back seat of any unlocked car. To our delight, many such vehicles were waiting to be of service. Giggling the whole time, we delivered our “gifts.” And that, my friends, is why people now lock their cars.

However, the funniest part of the entire endeavour was that we never heard a word about it. Dead silence. No one ever mentioned it within our earshot, and we weren’t about to blow our cover by asking questions. Possibly people (like me) who don’t regularly check their back seat might not have discovered it until days later, which wouldn’t have made the church connection obvious. So, it remains our little secret (until someone who remembers it reads this—busted!)

It’s now August, and another zucchini season is underway and becoming a threat to friends and neighbours of gardeners. BUT, having learned my lesson, I now grow a more reasonable number of zucchini plants. The little green pickle wannabes still occasionally hide under leaves and grow to sizes that a considerate vegetable would not. However, when some of the grandkids see one on the counter, they excitedly shout, “Zucchini cake!” They’re too young to drive, and also too young to know it’s a danger signal. Wise drivers, though, lock their cars when these innocent-looking threats begin appearing in markets. You never know what might take up residence in an available back seat.

Brenda Erb Roberts