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It’s a modern problem—typos, autocorrect and crazy text messages. When the technology wizards intervene or choose not to, messages can be hilarious, garbled, or embarrassingly inappropriate. In the olden days, we didn’t usually send a typed message to family or friends when an instrument, whose purpose was communication, hung on the wall. Now, one seems only to speak into that instrument with permission, and it resides out of sight in pockets or purses when not in use.

And so, the world of texting opened with its numerous typos and incorrect word choices due to autocorrect. In the period between dinosaurs and cell phones, when we chose a word for a specific purpose, that is the word from which the reader derived meaning. How challenging was that? There is a much more exciting option now—guess the sender’s meaning! A sparse collection of words and pictographs now replace what complete sentences once did.

It’s a good system when it works. To be clear, most of the errors in my texting conversations originate with me. Part of the problem is that, in the ancient world, I typed with all my fingers without looking at the keyboard. Now, I must look at my single digit as it attempts to stab the correct letter on a screen the size of a tea bag. I refuse to sustain another repetitive strain injury to my thumbs (not from texting), so my ineptitude continues. Usually, I’m too hurried to proof the text before sending it, which is a false economy of time. My attention focuses on what I’m typing and not what the phone thinks I’m typing, so many errors go undetected and require correction afterwards.

I thought you might enjoy reading a sample of my messed-up messages.

Text: Sorry, I can’t meet with you today. I’m on duty to make dessert for the “Aloha” dinner at church tonight.

Correction: *Alpha dinner.

Autocorrect at its finest!

Text: “Tom” and crew are coming for the weekend.

Correction: *I don’t know who Tom is, but Tim will be coming!

Text: This is what neglected garlic grown in a “dessert” looks like.

Correction: *I did not grow garlic in a dessert. It was a desert.

What a mental image that created!

Text: I had some leftover sweet potato casserole in the freezer, so I used it “on” pumpkin and cranberry muffins.

Correction: *“In” the muffins.

That would have been so wrong!

Text: I’ve scheduled it for “2:30.”

Correction: *1:30

That one caused panic! Dates and numbers always have the potential to go wrong.

Part of a text from our son: We used “Glen free” flour.

Translation: Gluten-free.

I thought all flour was “Glen free,” or at least should be!

And then there is the message to the wrong person:

Text: Do you want me to schedule an e-transfer today for [our daughter’s] birthday?

Response: I think you meant to send this to Dad, not me!

She had the perfect opportunity to say “yes” and set an extremely generous amount but didn’t. She’s a lovely girl!

Although typos, autocorrect and crazy text messages are now an inevitable part of our lives, texting is admittedly convenient. When a phone rings, my generation is like one of Pavlov’s dogs, and we rarely think of ignoring it, no matter how inconvenient. Texting has the benefit of quietly waiting after the initial ding until it is suitable for the receiver to answer it. Ah, the mixed blessing of technology.

Since I am so prone to typos and missing autocorrect corrections, I wonder if the technology wizards will someday interpret my intentions and clarify rather than confuse my messages. Interpreting intentions is far beyond human ability—ask any spouse, so a mere machine doesn’t have a chance. However, someday, someone might invent a device one only needs to speak into to connect with another person. It could happen!

Keep laughing, friends. The world is different than it was, but the potential for humour is fantastic!

If you need a smile today, check out my previous The Lighter Side posts. Click on The Lighter Side tab at the top of the page for a full list.